Temper Tantrums

Its time to talk about temper tantrums, and aggressive behavior.

So what do you do when your child (whether they have a 'disability' or not) has a temper-tantrum?

The first thing you can do to prevent these tantrums is to pick your battles.
So your child wants something he/she can't have. Examine your options. 

• How badly does he/she want this thing? 

          If your child only kind-of wants this item, or if he/she can live without it, there is less chance of a meltdown if they don't get what they want. Then its time to consider why you don't want he/she to have it.

• What will be the consequences if he/she does not get what he/she wants?

         I don't just mean consequences for the kid, how will you be affected by this decision? How will your child retaliate if he/she does not get what he/she wants? Will he/she be violent? If so, would it put yourself, the child, or any one else in danger? How worth it is the fight?

• Why should he/she not have that thing?    

         This may make you think a bit: do you have a real reason why your child should not have that item? "Because I said so" is not a legitimate answer, not to a child.

Remember to examine your options and reasons before starting a fight.


So how do you put an end to a tantrum that's already in progress? Give them space, give them time.

• Give them space, don't bombard them, let them come to you

          When a child (or anyone) is angry they react without thinking. Crowding a child, or grabbing (even if for the right reasons) can increase their anger and they may retaliate violently. There are many ways that a person can retaliate, including violence and harmful words. In any case, people may get hurt unintentionally by the child's reaction. You should give them space and let them calm down on their own. They will come out when they feel ready.

• Use some 'calm down' methods

        First try the above method, but for a faster way to end a temper tantrum, you can use many different things.

1. Use sensory objects, something soft and soothing
2. Calm, soothing, music. Instrumentals, or lullabys. 
3. Aromatherapy Dough - it's playdough infused with oils, like mint and rosemary, designed to reduce stress! It can be bought at various stores, and also made at home with this recipe: http://www.supermommoments.com/2011/05/diy-aromatherapy-playdough/
4. The iPad app: Calm Myself Down [https://itunes.apple.com/ca/app/calm-myself-down/id535009635?mt=8] is very useful. It walks your child through a step by step procedure, with photos, on calming down. Very effective.

Here are some more helpful links about violence and aggression in children with or without disabilities:

http://www.myaspergerschild.com/2010/06/anger-and-violence-in-aspergers.html
http://www.indyschild.com/Articles-i-2011-04-01-251393.112112-Coping-with-Aggression-in-a-Child-with-Autism.html

If you have any more questions, email us at thecommunicareproject@gmail.com or tweet us @CommunicareProj